


Spanking Silly

by BlackMorgan



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Humour, M/M, Porn Battle XIV, Prompt Fic, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 13:18:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMorgan/pseuds/BlackMorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock being Sherlock would tempt fate, wouldn’t he?  Though in truth, and in hindsight, John will admit this freely, that damnable man always did it very deliberately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spanking Silly

Sherlock being Sherlock _would_ tempt fate, wouldn’t he?  Though in truth, and in hindsight, John will admit this freely, that damnable man always did it _very_ deliberately.

 

John would initially blame the 36 hours without sleep, the mud-soaked cow entrails (don’t ask) he carried in his bare hands all the way back from the banks of the Thames nearly to Baker Street, (before Sherlock suddenly decided to bin them, unexamined, in Bloomsbury), followed immediately by the questionable experiment which left their flat smelling like a tanning factory, right before the arrogant git flopped himself down on the sofa and demanded to be serviced like royalty…  Oh John would _service_ him all right, and afterwards, there would be no sitting comfortably on that ‘entitled’ arse for at least a week!

 

“Sherlock!”  -  When John was angry, he was feisty _.  -  “_ If you don’t shut it and shove over right now, I am, God help me, going to spank you silly!”

 

And that was it.

 

“Spank me John? _Really,_ I’d like to see you try.”

 

Those infamous words, uttered from those perfect lips, were three seconds shy of the _“oomph”_ Sherlock expelled following the grapple John used to flip Sherlock onto his belly and then hard across his knees.

 

Sherlock might have a good six inches on John and an extra stone or so for all his lean and wiry, but John’s centre of gravity is low and he is also damn bloody quick when he wants to be.  -  Just ask any his army mates and they’ll tell you the stories.  -  Though that’s beside the point now, because compact and tenacious was right in the middle of upending tall, lean and wiry, and despite the threats and swearing from both parties, the good doctor did seem to be making excellent headway stripping a very conveniently pajama and dressing gown clad detective to bare what was unquestionably the finest lily-white arse in all the lower counties. 

 

Which, it should be noted, after the first broad slap and upsweep of John’s hand, bloomed red as a strawberry. 

 

After the third slap, John was no longer angry and despite his quarry’s furiously flushed face, the irrefutable evidence pressing into John’s lap declared neither was the detective.

 

There was a brief pause as John realized the ruse he had fallen for so predictably.

 

“You absolute shite,” he muttered, “You could have just asked me,” before angling his lover’s hips to receive another dozen blows, all placed perfectly, until he had a lap full of squirming detective pleading with John to climb on board and do something productive!

 

Some hasty repositioning and then John was placing his hands on either side of Sherlock’s hips, steadying his thrust as he sheathed himself in welcoming heat.  They both loved this, that first foray into narrow passage, the sweet stretch as one man buried himself in the other, root deep and then the smooth slide out to shift the angle before pounding back in relentlessly. 

 

It was an exercise guaranteed to have one very verbose detective howling like a banshee in less than three minutes and begging for anything and everything John was willing to give.

 

It was also a miracle that Mrs. Turner next door, didn’t call the police. - Not that it made a lot of difference when she did as it was usually an unexpectedly senior DI by the name of Lestrade who showed up to keep the peace, admonishing half-heartedly while the tall one rolled his eyes and the blonde one glared back furiously. And despite the _imposing_ presence of this senior policeman, Mrs. Hudson’s boys never looked sorry, not one bit! -

 

When the pounding and screaming and yelling of pornographic expletives finally ceased, and two utterly spent and sated bodies collapsed on top of each other on the now rather sticky sofa with their clothing still tangled about their knees, Sherlock began to hum softly.  Not a tune, well not any that John could recognize, but a soothing sound that reminded John of buzzing and dozy summer bees.

 

John knew Sherlock was waiting for him to ask.  “What?”

 

“We almost managed to finish simultaneously.”

 

John had noticed.  “Yes…”

 

“So I deduced correctly.”

 

Now John had no idea. 

 

Sherlock huffed out an impatient sigh.

 

“Cause and effect John! Of the disciplinary variety!”

 

“You’re saying that the _spanking_ nearly made us come simultaneously?”

 

The grin that flowed across Sherlock’s features might have been called downright cheeky. 

 

“Well of course, in order to properly catalogue the data, we’ll need to repeatedly test the theory, and…”

 

John never let him finish.  Just sucked those last few words right off his smug lips and into a silencing kiss.

 

Oh yes, Greg was going to be in for a very busy week.

 

[ ](http://battle.oxoniensis.org/pornbattle14.jpg)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **Porn Battle XIV,** using the **Spanking** prompt. Flying completely out of my comfort zone and usual style here, so apologies to any readers not expecting this.
> 
> A big thank you to [Atlin Merrick](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/pseuds/AtlinMerrick)  
> for waving the Porn Battle link under my nose and to **Stephanie** (who is not on AO3) but will undoubtedly see the irony of inevitability when I say that in truth, I wrote this fic for her and she damn well knows why!


End file.
